Euthanasia
by Sisera Tyne
Summary: Farfarello is looking for a way to escape while Schuldich looks on in curiosity . . . R, AU, yaoi/shounen ai, angst, attempted suicide


-Author: Sisera Tyne

-Author: Sisera Tyne

-Title: Euthanasia

-Pairings: FarfxSchu

-Warnings: R, AU, yaoi/shounen ai, angst, attempted suicide

-Summary: Farfarello is looking for a way to escape while Schuldich looks on in curiosity . . .

***Standard Disclaimers Apply***

"speaking"

/thoughts/

-+-

He had his head laying sideways on one of his arms turning a knife round and round in the table, making a small indention in it's once smooth surface. His visible eye was void of any sign of life as he stared aimlessly at the kitchen wall, not even noticing the others walking past him, going about their own tasks. He didn't move, he hardly breathed; he just watched from the outside, mind not completely comprehending, but still sane enough to know; or at least he appeared that way at times. 

Schuldich peered curiously at the silver haired man from behind the kitchen counter. He was completely fascinated by him. At moments he was like a small child, the next he was a raving wild man, and then at the briefest of moments he acted as a man who had a firm grasp on his sanity. The red head moved slowly towards the table, and sat down in the chair that scraped across the tile floor as he pulled closer to the table. Still he stared vacantly out into space, not even taking notice to the man sitting across from him who seemed to always study him so carefully.

He lay his own head down and looked into his mind which was normally so intriguing, so active with random thoughts that entertained him so, but now he was quiet. It was like the eye of a hurricane; dead silent and perfectly still. But it was obvious to Schuldich that this was only the calm before the storm. Something was building inside, stirring around him, waiting for the right time to lash out. The knife kept turning in his scarred hand, twisting around, digging deeper into the wood of the table until Schuldich reached out and stilled the hand with his own. The man smiled eerily in a manner that barred his teeth, making him look wild and untamed. Life seemed to make it's presence once again known in his one eye which now gazed back at the German red-head. 

"What are you thinking, Farfarello?" he questioned quietly.

Again he smiled in the same manner and dropped the knife on the table with a resounding thud. "You tell me," he whispered harshly.

Schuldich reached out with his mind and touched the other man's, he heard that same gruff whisper; yet he couldn't quite comprehend what the silver haired man was saying, the words seemed garbled together, not at all making sense. He pulled back into his own mind and felt a rush of nauseating dizziness wave over him. He could still feel that whisper, almost as if it was calling out to him.

Farfarello leaned over the table until he was mere inches away from the red head's face. He smiled viciously and leaned over to kiss the other man who froze, eyes wide in surprise. Pulling back the Irishman looked him in the eye. "Why do you always watch me?"

"Your intriguing," Schuldich whispered.

He sat back in his chair and grinned. "Intriguing, eh?" He began to laugh, clearly amused by that thought. "You call a monster who seeks to destroy his own maker ~intriguing~ ?!" 

"Yes."

Farfarello stood from the table still laughing as he knocked over the chair and turned over the table. "Intriguing the man says! Hah!" He walked directly toward Schuldich who was still sitting in the chair and put one hand on either side of the chair. "I think you've got me all wrong, Schuu," he whispered, his voice raspy and low. "Now tell me. What exactly do you find so ~intriguing~ about me? Hmm? The world must know!!!" he laughed.

Schuldich crossed his arms and gazed at the now raving man before him. "You always have something going on inside your mind, your always thinking up wild things that no one else even bothers to think about."

"That's because I'm insane," he replied voice barely audible.

"And you admit that," Schuldich began as he reached out to touch the scarred face, "Most people are afraid of that fact, but your not. Your not afraid of the truth, you don't live in a world of denial like everyone else. You don't surround yourself with false hopes, you simply live the way you are."

Farfarello looked down. "I'm not human. Humans feel. I can't feel anything."

"Yes you can, you just don't realize it."

He looked up. "Liar. You're lying just like everyone else!!!" 

"Far.."

"Shut up!!!" he yelled backing into a corner and sliding down the wall to hug his knees. "You don't understand... I can't feel anything. All I can feel is a dull ache." Farfarello reached out and recovered his knife that had been thrown across the room along with the table. He cut a long ling trailing from his wrist to his elbow and watched the blood flow down his arms and onto the tile floor. "I only feel alive when I kill and when I bleed..."

Schuldich reached out with his mind again. /Stop it. Don't do that, you'll die./ the red head pleaded.

Farfarello leaned back and smiled, dazed from the blood loss. "God loves all his children..." he whispered, voice slurred. /He loves all his children but *me.* God can't love the wicked. I've killed his children...he can't love me. No one loves me. There is no mercy for me.../

Schuldich moved towards the Irishman and wrapped his arms around him, not caring if the blood stained his clothing. His hands were already stained with blood, and it didn't matter anymore. He held the man close and again he heard the whisper only now it was clearer.

/Mercy.../

/Farfarello?/

/Mercy...please.../

He held the man close, not bothering with the stained tile floor or the overturned chairs. Right now it didn't matter. Nothing really matters anyway, because everything fades away eventually. It won't matter once it's all done and over with...

The English physician and writer Sir Thomas Browne once commented: "Not to be content with life is the unsatisfactory state of those who destroy themselves." 

-+end+-


End file.
